Way to Fall

Alright so my first day at walmart wasn't to bad I think I might actually like the job, I didn't spend hardly anytime on the sales floor, even though yesterday I did spend most of my time on a computer doing training things. But I'm going to spend most of it my time there in the back unloading stuff off the trucks, and after that in done separating begins, then after that we take out the pallets to the floor, for third shift to put on the selves. Now it isn't a job I want to do to long but it's giving me a work out and the people are a riot. The funny thing is I'm getting worn out when there are a few older ladies ladies doing it to and they didn't get phased, while I started to have a hard time. They put me to shame, lol. The only really bad thing was I couldn't get to sleep until like 4am which really sucked So I slept almost all day and here in a few I have to get ready and do it all again.

eh

Alright this is fucking brutal, I'm working the next two weeks strait with the exceptions of Tuesdays and Wednesdays, but it's from 4pm - 1am, so say long to talking and hanging out with any friends, hopefully after I'm there for a while I'll be able to switch to 3rd shift or something that way I'll have some interaction with friends. The Really shitty thing is I currently don't know when I'm going to be able to work on the this documentary, hopefully I can talk to BHH and get something worked out so maybe we can shoot some of these things in the morning before I have to be at work. Oh well but at least I do get to days off a week that are back to back. It will give me some time to get stuff done.

Well, that's the thing about you humans. You can always see something that's invisible, but if it's staring you right in the face - nope, can't see it

6:30P.M. ish

Todays just been another one of these days, it wouldn't be to bad if I could just get out and do something. I mean It was nice going to lunch with my mom, but I need more human interaction. God I can't wait to start working even if I don't like it I just need out of this rut I'm in, Usually being back home I'm inspired to do more, to be great, but that inspiration is gone from this place. It's like I'm falling in to a black hole and Can't seem to escape it. Today I decided to write in my Note book again first time in to months, it was like a friend long gone, one that I was hoping never to talk to again, I have so many bad memories wrapped up in it that and some good ones in there to I guess. But it's an interesting little read if you want to get in to my head, and only one person has ever read it, and thats just because I was a mess and didn't have my head on strait. Now if I find someone I trust as well as I did them, When It's filled up I let them have a go. Now it's over 3 and a half years of my life wrapped up into it the little thing but if you would like a read let me know, I'm going to try and write in as much as possible the next few months until its full, I would like for it to be filled by the new year. But like I said If you want to read it when it's all said and done let me know.

11:44P.M.

Well, I had just closed my computer and never finished posting so Instead of just rewriting the above, I just figured make two different entries.

So around 6:30ish Andrew came over. I was good to hang out with him again before he went off to school tomorrow, at least I know he'll be home for the weekend and stuff so hopefully I'll have them off, but you never know at least not until tomorrow. But Andrew took me out to White Castle and the to see Inglorious Bastards, which was Fantastic, I love Tarantino's Dialog in every movie and this was no exception and a good change from his pulp culture filled dialog in his others. But this was the first movie I've seen in theaters since Harry Potter over a Month ago. I use to go all the time, one of the nice perks of working at one at the time. But even at school If there was a movie I wanted to go see I did. But that besides the point I guess one reason people hadn't been calling me to hang out was because they though I was shooting all week, when I have only done two days, SO YES I"M FREE, but not tomorrow because I'm am working. the only day this week that I have been. but Hanging out with my buddy was good, It made me feel better, just need to keep this up.

Now I have to get to sleep I have to be up early,

talk to you again soon

To graphic? I think so

http://www.parentdish.com/2009/08/25/will-bloody-texting-psa-get-the-message-to-teens/?icid=main|htmlws-main|dl7|link3|http://www.parentdish.com/2009/08/25/will-bloody-texting-psa-get-the-message-to-teens/

Now I'm guilty of doing both, but I see talking on your cell phone no differently then talking to someone else in your. Texting on the hand yeah I should do it, because I know I don't pay as close attention to the road as I should, I try to to reply back to them while driving, but I will read them, and I try to keep that to only when I'm stopped at a light or something. And it seems that every time I drive I almost get into like three accidents because people don't pay attention. I think everyone could pay more attention.

Now as far as it being too graphic for TV, yeah I really think it is, something like this should be left to schools, I don't mind them using it, but just to be on TV I think is a little to much. They did a fantastic job at going for the emotional impact, and I really liked it. I could be used for alot of good, even just cutting the video down, and leave out the baby and the little kid, and then maybe use it on TV, but to me it's a little much.

Well... you could do that. Yeah, you could do that. Of course you could! But why? Look at these people, these human beings. Consider their potential!

From the day they arrive on the planet, blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than- no, hold on. Sorry, that's The Lion King. But the point still stands: Leave them alone!

Again not much to say, spent the morning with Mat, and we worked out, then walked alot today, and got a sun burn doing so. Now beside that nothing at all. Sorry for the lack of news but what can I say. It's been a rather lacking week. I need something big to happen, soon. Hopefully in a few day we can get back to working on the Documentary. The band hasn't called us, I'm going to give them a ring Thursday and find out what's going down. I wish I had more to say but today was good, I didn't get depressed or anything it was good.

Hello! Oka..... New teeth. That's weird. So where was I? Oh, that's right --Barcelona!

Well Yet another day with out anything to talk about. I really do need to get a life. Which I do have my orientation at walmart on Thursday so at least my spare time that I have to get depressed will start to die off, and get a job will hopefully allow me to become social again. I am glad I have a few friends that don't care if I'm broke but I do because I feel bad when they pay for stuff. But hopefully that will change, I am going to open up two savings accounts + my checking account, one saving is for random stuff I want, trips I want to take, Movies, etc... the Second one is for my student loans and the Checking will be for my bills only. So hopefully I can finally learn how to manage money, because there are places to go and people to see, but thats hard to do If your broke. Now I did get in my 64 thousand dollar piece of paper in the mail today. 4-6 weeks my ass but it's nice to be able to hold the Diploma in my hands. Now if it could just start making me money I would be all set.

I have decide to grow my beard out long enough to cut it back in to a goatee, I just want to see how it looks, with somewhat short hair, but I'm going to grow It out to a point and see what I can do with it, and hopefully by that time I've lost some weight, If I keep at it I'm sure I will. I finally have the motivation I need to keep on it and not give up at it for once in my life.

Life is funny isn't it? one moment you can be the happiest guy in the world and the next you could be depressed beyond belief. Just being at home all the time is depressing. A few weeks ago I was the happiest guy in the world I could actually smile, now on the other hand I'm lucky to even chuckle. I don't get it, and it's not fair. When will I get that moment of true happiness, when will it be my turn. hello future this is David West talking.

Doctor Who Exit Interview: David Tennant and Russell T. Davies

Not really to much to say today, but stuff seems to be going well. I got My MTV2 Production Crew Pass yesterday!!! Which was a good feeling I have to say. I sent a lot of people yesterday the picture, I didn't mean to show off but I was just excited. Last Night we, went to a Recording Studio with Black Hearted Hero, we got a lot of awesome stuff and they turned some great work. I't having an awesome time working on this. It's a bit odd knowing we have full reign on this, but hey thats awesome. I'm working with Chris and Rich which is fun, and it's getting my mind off a lot of stuff. I'm having a good time. It's going to be odd every one is going off to school this coming week or have already, it's going to be weird not going my self, but so it goes.

Breaking out of my body and flying away Like a bat out of hell

I'm feeling a lot better now then what I was, I let my emotions get the best of me and I made some bad decisions. It's times like these I wish I were a Vulcan, then Emotions wouldn't be a problem, only Logical. Speaking of which there is Vulcan poetry which I just found out. It made me laugh.

A Vulcan Love Poem

by Gene on Passions in Poetry


If I had it within me, to show emotion,
My circulatory organ would be full of human-like feelings for you.
For, I do appreciate you.
Your mind is an incredible object to meld with.
It is most illuminating and logical.
I find your appearance extremely satisfying in a most cerebral way:
Your ears; so perfectly acute,
Your eyebrows; so uplifting,
Your hair; each strand, so logically placed,
And you spread your fingers with such accuracy and grace;
Always an exact 46.1378mm between middle and ring-finger.
I do need you in a most physical and intellectual way,
And require your partnership.
Therefore, if you will be my biological, necessary companion,
Together, we shall live long and prosper.

Then some Meatloaf

And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell And the last thing I see is my heart Still beating

You know, I never do anything to help my self, I just make things oh so much more worse then they already are, and I know this can only make things worse. I can never fucking get ahead in my own life. And you know what the fucked up thing is, I should be use to my life shitting, on me because of my own mistakes. Mostly because I need to just stop talking, I can't shut my self up. And it's because of that a lot of people really don't like me, but everyone once in while someone comes along and does, yet I still tend to fuck shit up. I'm really surprised I have the friends I do. And it's these people that get me through life, with out them, I don't know where I would be. Then for some reason My stupid Brain tells me I Like someone, which sucks after you spend most of the last few months re building that suit of Armor, which take a lot of work, Then you have to trash it and start a new. So I let them into the world of David West, I let them get to know me more so then most people. I know It doesn't take much to get me to tell my life story, but for those who choose to listen, it really lets them in to my brian in to the inter workings. I feel I made the right choices here. I try not to get close to people because it always ends the same way even when you think it's going so well. Then a bomb gets dropped, in this case a kiss. We didn't want to get close, but I did. Then it's my fault I want to be more then just friends. And If I'm the Bad guy here then so be it, I had a great time, and wouldn't take anything back, even that kiss, thats brought all this trouble between us. To me no relationship is worth it if you're not willing to take chances. I know that some part of them is hesitating for a moment, and if there's a moment of hesitation, then that means they feel something too. And all I ask, please, is that you just - you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds.

Sorry For the bitching.

See you next Time,

David Aaron West

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." Neil Gaiman

If the only place where I could see you was in my dreams, I'd Sleep forever.

Not much to say today but I just wanted to keep with the trend, Hell I'm not even sure how many people read this, but I at least know of a few. I'm thinking about doing this with video updates but not really sure how that would turn out, but it's always an idea. Today was good thats about all to say really. Even though for some reason I got really motivated today, which is awesome then it kinda faded when I got home. So something else is telling me I need to get out, or maybe it was the joy of driving with the windows down listening to Music just like the good old days. It's sad but I really do miss that old car. I'm sure if I where to do some work with this one, it could get to that point but, It still isn't my car you know. I drive my dads jeep everywhere for the most part and every once in a while my mom's truck.

The Library has been good about getting me a bunch of Doctor Who stuff, mostly classic Who but some book, old VHS and DVDs. So alot of my free time has been taken up The Doctor. I've also gotten a few of the Original Sound tracks from episodes the longer have any surviving picture, Well, Sorta like an Audio Book if you want to say so. These are nice to put on when your working with on other things and just having these play, are great. I might even say better then watching the episodes, because it leaves alot up to your imagination while the alot of the Classic Who stuff is hard to watch, the easiest stuff for me to watch was the Tom Baker stuff I've seen with Sarah Jane. Over all it's nice to see and learn more about the Doctor but I'll still prefer the current Doctor Who stuff. And If you haven't watched it please read my review of Doctor Who (2005) on this blog as well.

http://darthdaw37.blogspot.com/2009/05/whole-new-world.html

See you Again,

David Aaron West

it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly.... timey-wimey.... stuff.

Today was rather uneventful, the only thing I did was go to the Movie theater and try and get a job again, I most likely will, didn't really want to go back but I'm out of money completely and can't a one anywhere else. I did ask about being a shift Manager but they just hired two, if only I would have been quicker in deciding to go back. Other then that nothing really big. Finished rewatching Season one of Angel and Season one of Torchwood, and watched some classic Doctor Who. I didn't even have the energy to work out, but I need to get to bed so I can do that in the morning. It's also Kinda strange this is the first time in the four months that I've updated daily, I hope you all enjoy

Have you ever had one of those moments where you really want to help someone but just can't find the right words to do so, and not being able to tears you apart, because helping them is all you can think about. Do they have a word for that? I'm usually great at helping my friends out of these types of things, at finding the right words to make it all better. Even if they aren't my own I can find a great quote or something to get them through it or say something witty and make them smile. I'm just not sure if there is anything I can say to help besides letting them I know I'm here for them, and maybe sometimes thats just enough.

"People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect... but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly.... timey-wimey.... stuff." - The Doctor

The Way I Feel Inside

It's not everyday that you get to spend with the people who matter most to you. I got to see a lot of my Friends today, starting from early this morning to late into the evening. And had a lot fun while really getting to think about where my life is going. Thats something that I've been doing a lot recently, thinking has really become one of my favorite pass times, even though I might not be the best thing for me. For the most part its out load thinking, with my friends so It's not like I'm keeping these thought to my self. I do have to say this, I'm scared of what's to come. Here I am, while everyone is leaving me behind, it sucks how the roles have kinda switched, I felt like I was the one leaving all of them just all most two years ago around this time. I know this isn't good by to any of my friends and I'll see you all again, but hopefully the next time I do see some of you it will be like nothing has changed between us. I know that when I came back from Florida I had changed a lot, either for the better or the worse, I'm not really the one to say. And even more recently I'm been motivated to physically change my life, since right now it's the only thing in it I can control, with out really fucking anything up. One thing I know that has gotten to me, at least in my opinion I've been trying to fit everyones expectations of me, Not any more, I'm going to be me, I miss me. I know my mind is confused, because I'm also the happiest now that I've been in years and feel great about my self.

Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. - BERNICE JOHNSON REAGON

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was

So My friday was good, tiring but good, I'm starting to workout on a regular basis and finally trying to get rid of my gut and get in to a shape thats not a blob. The thing is I know I can lose the weight but its keeping it off thats going to be the hard part. I just have to make sure to keep to my guns this time. Even just running the past few days is making me feel better, having Mat Smith doing it with me has been fun. I spent most of the day with Mat, I fixed him and Heather dinner, no reason why really, but it did feel good to cook, I haven't cooked my own meal in a few months so it was nice. Friday was also my niece Aliva's 5th Birthday, her party is next weekend but she spent a little time here. It's so weird that it was 5 years ago that I was in the waiting room with the rest of my family when my sister was having her. Just being around Alivia makes me one of the happiest people in the world. It almost makes me want one of my own someday, I do think I would make a good Dad. Even if that means spoiling them beyond belief. Saturday or today which ever way you want to look at it, I'm getting up early say 10ish and working out, after that doing some cleaning around the house, Shower and then hopefully spending the rest of the day with Jackie. Should be a fun day.

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it. Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

It's all Been Done

Ok so, it's been a while, lets just say that it's has been a somewhat wild. I Graduated from Full Sail University with a BS in Film. After that I moved back home to Indy. Not Very fun really and not the first place I would have liked to move after school, but I'm still doing it, still trying to make my dream come true. I just recently finished a short film called Love, Nathaniel, It was my first step producing, but I really enjoyed it, I did it as part of the Indianapolis 48 Hour Film Project, and it just recently showed at the IMA. During the past month and with the film I made some new friends, great friends, and reconnected with some as well, I really don't know how to thank them enough. Because of Love, Nathaniel a few more opportunities have come about, thanks to the band Black Hearted Hero. It's going to be fun working with you guys. Finding a job to pay the bills has been a bitch, I can't seem to find a job to save my life. I've applied to over 30 places and can't get shit.

Now usually when I do these, it's more of me venting and usually pissed off about the world, but I really don't have a reason to be anymore. The people I'm around make me feel good about my self. So there's is none of that. So sorry if I'm boring you, if so stop reading. I haven't watched to much TV since I've been back up here, so no reviews or anything, Besides what I've talked about I don't really have much to say.

The only really shitty thing thing is, everyone is going back to school, and here I am. Andrew and Chance are going back to IU, Edsel to Ball State, and my new friends are going to school to. Like so many other times I never know if this will be the last time I see some of these people again, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure I do, but only time can say. Hell I've only been out of College a month and the only person I talk to really Is Chris Danz and thats because we are doing these projects together. I know if I don't get out of here soon I'll go fucking nuts. I need to get money so I can move the hell out of the state. I need to get some where I can find work and still be happy.

I'll post Love, Nathaniel as Soon as I get it online.

Thanks For Reading.