photoshop fun= New Banner + count down to 50, number 47

if you're lost you can look and you will find me

Well I'm pretty sure I have some kind of sleeping disorder, I can only get a few hours of sleep at a time, not fun. But To my point of this today, Have you ever liked someone and they don't share the same feelings for you that you do them. Well thats the story of my life, ad not that it's a bad thing, and I can't hold that against them. I've made some bad choices when it comes to my actions with relationship. Mainly when it comes to speaking my mind. When I have feelings for someone I'm not afraid to say any, now is that a bad thing? I don't know. But for the first time, I honestly would do anything for this person just not to lose her as a friend. Part of me hates the fact that I can't keep my feelings to myself then again, usually only bring it up to make them feel better, but then it goes from being me trying to help, to me basically making a fool out of my self, and instead of making things better, I make them worse. I'm not upset I just wish there was something that I could do that would make it better. My feelings here don't really matter, I would love to be able to move on, but I've tried and I just end up in the same spot time after time. I just have a way of picking them I guess. Why is it that a guy like me with an unwavering moral code that live my life by can't seem to get a head in life, I'm good guy, right? So why is it when I try to help the people I care about, I make it worse for them.

Love, Nathaniel Is coming on in a few!!!

Just about a half hour and I'll finally have it on-line, so those of you that have been waiting for it can finally see it, there are still a few things that I want to change, but I need to re import the footage and I'm not in the mood to do so, lol I'm lazy.

UPDATE

It's Here, two months later but it's here

FUCK WALMART

So As you can tell I lost my job at Wal*mart, So I jokingly called a coworker a bitch. To me this wasn't that bad, but the Bitch Manger can suck a big one. The event happened over a month ago, so I can't believe it took them this long, and it seems that someone just reported it about a week and half to two weeks ago. And on top of all the great luck I've had this week this was just the worst of the bunch. No instead of having bills and having money to pay them, now I'm back to having bills and no money. The whole thing is just stupid, I can sit there and be called a " Fucking Dumb Ass" and nothing happens to them, But no I bust my ass every time I was there and I get fired over some so simple. The Managers say that they look out for Wal*mart associates to the best they can, and that they're respect it the most important thing. Well fuck Wal*mart only a few of the Managers ever showed me any respected and none of the other even took the time to talk to me, The first time I talked to the Manager that fired me was Tuesday when she asked for my report on what had happened, So she had no Judge of Character. They don't me and what they have was out of context. Now I had asked to say good bye to everyone before leaving, and when I told everyone they were all shocked and asked why and when I started to tell them, the bitch manager came over and stopped me, then I got pissed and stormed off, then escorted out of the building.

I don't know why this upset me as much as it did yesterday, but It could actually be a good thing, at least now I wont get stuck there, and Maybe just happen to find a job that allows me to have a social life and not mention farther my career with took a back seat to me getting my bill caught up. The only reason I didn't blog about it yesterday is because I spent most of the Afternoon bitching to people. I was pretty rough right after it happened. So I called people to cheer me up. =)

Got to love that David West Luck.

I have the worst luck when it comes to money and Most of that is my fault, but I paid $500 on my Credit Card to day because I thought I had the money, I couldn't get on to my online checking account for reasons I don't know. But I'm usually pretty good at keeping track of my funds with out checking my balance. But the Payment went through on the credit card so I was like "yay" one step closer to being out of Debt. But later in the day I was trying to by buy some theater tickets around a Hundred Bucks total, and it kept saying that there was some kind of error, so I figured I would try again. When I got to work I went to grab a drink and some chap stick, and my card got declined for a grad total of $3.00, So I'm kinda freaking out right now, mainly because I can't check my accounts and I can only imagine what the over draft charges would be on that credit card payment, but hopefully I just have a set daily limit on my bank account and not broke, which I don't think I am. But I'm getting up in the morning to go to my bank and have a little chat. But Go Me! Got to love that David West Luck.

In other news my mom is doing just fine, she had her lady parts taken out earlier this week, and me and my dad are still sane, or as much as I can be any way. We got a few new people at work, one is a cool guy, but the other one is FUCKING useless And gets in the way, I'm sorry I know he's new but still the guy has no work ethic. Not to mention I've never meant anyone who has ever smelled so bad of cigarettes in my life. Enough of me Bitching about this guy I could just go on forever. So I'm not going to lie I'm kinda feeling really bummed about my money situation, but at the same time I'm feeling good, I'm getting out on my days off hanging out with friends. Playing D&D Saturday really felt good, I got to reconnect with a few old friends and got to meet a few a new ones, so that was nice. Then it's now less then two months until I get to see Jackie again, Can't wait!!! It's felt like forever. I have this coming weekend off but from the looks of it no money to anything. I do have Halloween off and I'm going to a Halloween Party, Don't really have any costume Ideas, I would love to go as the Doctor but lack the clothing.

12:03 pm

awesomeness so I get everything worked out with my bank account, only to have someone call and tell me I have $1700 by the end of the month on a credit card I believed to have had paid off last December, What I don't get is why I hadn't gotten any mail about this, a phone call before Now! anything to let me know I was getting charged. God why does life Hate me so.

Encounter at Farpoint

I hate not being able to move on. It's hard to explain but at time when my life isn't looking as up as it should and I get depressed my mind just keeps telling me to do one thing but I feel like I need to do another. Now one thing I know for certain and I have it all worked out in my head finally but My path of self rediscovery is needing a push. I wanted to come back here and reconnect with my friends but most of them are away so thats kinda not going so well. And I'm missing someone beyond belief. Not much more to say and it's 5:20am so I'm going to hit the sack.

Well, you went uptown ridin' in your limousine With your fine Park Avenue clothes You had the Dom Perignon in your hand And the spoon up your nose

So got to give me credit, I'm handling my current girl situation better then I would have thought. It Sucks not going to lie. I just wish she could see how much a douche her boy friend is. She's an awesome person and can do so much better, and I'm not saying me, but damn the guy is a controlling bastard. The guy just pisses me, alright get over it your girl friend has male friends that she wants to hang out with but can't because you wont let her. And not to mention he completely killed my trust with her in a way, because He's read our text messages, and found I like her, all the shit she's said about it him, and the fact I think he's a cock ass. So I can't help it if I'm hesitant on telling her anything. Just need to vent, thanks for listening.